Last night I got a phone call from my ex husband in regards to our teenager, Blake. Apparently he had taken his PSP (from my house) to his dad's and then lied about having it when his step mom asked about it. Ok, there needs to be back story here...
A couple of weeks ago, Blake had taken his iPod to school with him so he could listen to it on the bus. It's from my house. Anyways, his step mom was home that day and tried to get his attention before he walked to the sitters house, but because he had his headphones in, he didn't hear her. Now, for the last 10 years, she has had this rule of nothing from her house goes to my house and vice versa, which when he was younger made sense. This rule is her rule, not mine, but I have honored it nonetheless. So, two weeks ago she busted him having my iPod at her house and took it from him and told him that if she ever saw it in her house again, he wouldn't like the consequences. That took place on a Monday. On Tuesday night, I got an email from his step mom saying that she now had Blake's PSP, and that I could get it from her either Thursday night or Friday night when I got him next.
Now, I have told my son that while it may not seem fair, rules are rules and he needed to follow them. So it makes you wonder why on earth he thought that he could AGAIN take his PSP from my house Tuesday night and take it to his dad's house and then show it off to the kids on the bus? One of those kids didn't like what he was doing and told his parents who in turn called step mom. I tell ya...I am at a loss. So my son once again took something he wasn't supposed to over to his dad;s house, got busted for it, and then LIED about it. He sure doesn't know when to quit.
His dad and I had a conversation in which his dad determined that I used poor judgement in letting Blake have his PSP in the first place and for trusting him that he wouldn't take it between houses. I of course think that on some level, you have to trust your kids enough to let them make their mistakes and pray that they learn from it. In this case, my son doesn't seem to be learning from it. So, his father wants to sell the PSP (which I bought) and use the money to cover his bills. I told him that he could sell whatever video equipment of HIS he wanted, but that I wanted the PSP back since I am the one who paid for it. He thinks I am going to let Blake have it and then we will go through this process all over again. Not so. I plan to take my son up to Game Stop and sell the darned thing. I dont' know when, if EVER, I will allow him to have another video game system after this.
My main problem is the way his dad acted like this was all my fault. I mean, aren't we supposed to give our teens some leeway in the area of trust? Maybe I am just too optimistic in my thinking. But I am pretty sure that I am not a bad parent and that I intend to teach my teen a lesson. One thing is for sure: teens are way more difficult than toddlers!
His dad and step mom are asses. Plain and simple. I grew up with a dad and step mom like that. Guess what, I have nothing to do with them, they do not have a relationship with my kids but my mom is very close with my children and me. Did their games and crazy shit work? No. It only drove me away. I stopped visiting when I was like 13 and he could do nothing to make me visit him. He decided not to fight but kept paying child support and just visited me occasionally. My point is, keep your head up and in the end your son will know you were the one on his side and he will love you for it in the end. I seriously think the rule is shit and stupid. He is a kid and has a right to have his stuff whereever he is. I hated that rule growing up. My step mom tried to pull that shit on me but it did not fly and I won and got to bring my stuff around to both houses. I think he should get to keep it. He is a kid. Didn't his dad make mistakes as a kid too? Okay, I have now written a freakin book for ya. This is a sore subject for me can you tell? I just remember my feelings in your son's shoes and feel for him so bad. I know what it feels like to have a step mom like his and it is a horrible feeling. It still effects me this many years later even though she is not allowed in my life anymore. :( Hugs. Get his PSP back. You bought it. YOu should get to decide what to do with it.
ReplyDeleteWell, as you know Tina, I had to call the police in order to get my property back. Very frustrating that they are behaving like neanderthals. Joe acted like it was no big deal and that we had an "agreement". NOT! Now I have to decide if I should call Family Services in regards to the bruise on his bottom. I took a picture of it simply to have a record of it. She used a spoon on him, a wooden spoon. With only his underpants on. I am so tired of this. She treats my son like he is an animal, not a human being. It reminds me so much of how I was treated by the woman who had adopted me. I'm so conflicted.
ReplyDelete:( I am sorry. I should have read this earlier. I forget to come back to posts I have commented on.
ReplyDeleteNo worries Tina!
ReplyDelete