I know I haven't posted lately, but I've been pretty busy trying to stay sane. Is that even possible? I'm beginning to think not! So, in the never ending saga that is my divorced life, my ex decides to send me a text requesting my help today. It drives me nuts that I am expected to bend over backwards to help them out, but if I need something from them, I am interfering with their life. *SIGH* So, I have decided to be the bigger person and help them tonight. Granted the request wasn't daunting or anything...they were requesting to pick Blake up past the time that I would have dropped him off at their house this evening. But, we are supposed to be going by our divorce papers, per their request. Hence, I never know which way is up anymore when it comes to their bi-polar mood swings. Tomorrow I will somehow be the devil in their eyes once again. It's exhausting. Divorce sucks. The worst part is that the next time we get into a fight, they will throw this back at me, saying that they did ME the favor. Again, divorce sucks! Especially for the kiddos.
On a brighter note, my other son always finds ways to make me laugh and smile. (Not that my oldest doesn't as well, but he is in the midst of teenage angst, so he frustrates the snot out of me these days!) Easter was so much fun for him...he enjoyed looking for eggs, even though they had nothing inside of them! He could have done that all day if we had let him! He didn't care about candy, but he sure loved the Hot Wheels and ball that he got! Oh, and running around grandma's yard! That is probably his favorite thing to do! He just loves grandma's house...and grandpa is most likely his best pal!
Two weekends before Easter we took Ethan to an Easter Egg hunt sponsored by Parks and Rec and Target. It was FREEZING cold! Once he figured out what he was supposed to do, there was no stopping him! He wanted to collect all the eggs! I remember when Blake was that age; he wanted nothing to do with the Easter Bunny- he was terrified of him. Ethan though, he thought the Easter Bunny was pretty cool. He kept looking up at the tall rabbit, smiling and thinking who knows what in that little mind of his. If and when I ever figure out how to post pics, I will post a pic that we did take of Ethan with the Easter bunny. I had to stand with him in order to get the picture, but we got one!
Ok, that is it for now....I have to get my bum to bed so I can be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the first grade class I am subbing for tomorrow! Until the next time, live well, laugh often and loudly, and make time to dance!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Some semblance of normalcy?
So the last few weeks have been slightly peaceful. At least no more issues have arised in regards to my oldest's father and it appears that I am getting no where in the Child Services world either. As frustrating as it is, at least there is something on file there if I ever need to refer to it in court. For now, Blake seems to be ok with his situation, although he does still hate being around his stepmom. Who can blame him? It isn't like she is all that loving towards him.
This week is a busy one for me. I am subbing 4 out of 5 days! Thank goodness, because I don't know how on earth I am going to catch up my car payment or anything else for that matter. Times are so tough right now. I don't know one minute to the next what is going to happen. And I have health issues that need taken care of, but I can't afford to tack on any more bills. We're barely making it as it is. These double house payments are killing us. I need new clothes, I need shoes, heck, I need a haircut! These are luxuries I cannot afford.
So, since there is no drama in my life at the moment, I am forced to focus on my self. I feel so ugly now that I weigh nearly 200 pounds and I feel like no one really likes me anymore. I have a few loyal good friends who aren't concerned with my looks, but these young teachers I work with make it so hard. I look in the mirror and see FAT. I can't seem to accept myself the way I look now. I gained soooo much weight with my last child. I still wear a size 16, and I can't stand the fact that nothing fits right. I also can't stand the fact that they don't make pretty clothes for us larger gals, unless of course you can afford to spend a ton of money on clothes, which I can't. *Sigh* It's really frustrating, but I don't exactly have the energy or know how to lose the weight. I try desperately to eat right, but I can't tell you how many times we've ended up eating at McDonald's because we just didn't have time to cook a meal. I am too self-conscious to go out in my neighborhood to walk, and figure I wouldn't lose all that much anyways. I've given up pop, only to watch the pounds stay put. I LOVE my pop. I've tried to change to healthier choices, but they are so expensive! What's a fat girl to do????? Thank heavens my kids love me no matter what! I wouldn't give them up for anything, even if it means I am a fat chick for the rest of my life! I just have to find a way to be ok with it!!!
This week is a busy one for me. I am subbing 4 out of 5 days! Thank goodness, because I don't know how on earth I am going to catch up my car payment or anything else for that matter. Times are so tough right now. I don't know one minute to the next what is going to happen. And I have health issues that need taken care of, but I can't afford to tack on any more bills. We're barely making it as it is. These double house payments are killing us. I need new clothes, I need shoes, heck, I need a haircut! These are luxuries I cannot afford.
So, since there is no drama in my life at the moment, I am forced to focus on my self. I feel so ugly now that I weigh nearly 200 pounds and I feel like no one really likes me anymore. I have a few loyal good friends who aren't concerned with my looks, but these young teachers I work with make it so hard. I look in the mirror and see FAT. I can't seem to accept myself the way I look now. I gained soooo much weight with my last child. I still wear a size 16, and I can't stand the fact that nothing fits right. I also can't stand the fact that they don't make pretty clothes for us larger gals, unless of course you can afford to spend a ton of money on clothes, which I can't. *Sigh* It's really frustrating, but I don't exactly have the energy or know how to lose the weight. I try desperately to eat right, but I can't tell you how many times we've ended up eating at McDonald's because we just didn't have time to cook a meal. I am too self-conscious to go out in my neighborhood to walk, and figure I wouldn't lose all that much anyways. I've given up pop, only to watch the pounds stay put. I LOVE my pop. I've tried to change to healthier choices, but they are so expensive! What's a fat girl to do????? Thank heavens my kids love me no matter what! I wouldn't give them up for anything, even if it means I am a fat chick for the rest of my life! I just have to find a way to be ok with it!!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Shouldn't things be easier by now?
I haven't posted a blog for the last several days because I have been at a loss as to what to post. So much has happened since my last post, I just don't know how to get all of it out of my head and into words on this keyboard. Then I came across this story that was tweeted by a gal that I follow: http://www.ktnv.com/story/14338042/baby (thanks leladavidson for the link!)
It's a story about a new set of parents who had their newborn child taken from them because they wanted to take a holistic approach to their child's mild jaundice. Even after talking to a staff pediatrician, who by the way, was ok with the idea of the parents taking their child home, the nurse who was assigned to them called Social Services to report them. Now, I am all for looking out for kids, but this was ridiculous. A DOCTOR, someone with the education and title, thought it would be ok for the child to go home with mom and dad, but the NURSE (who I understand has just as much knowledge as most doctors) didn't care and put these people through hell. And Social Services took the child away. This doesn't just anger me, it really infuriates me. What these parents were suggesting was not abusive, would not have hurt the child in any way, shape or form, and the child was removed. My son, who is being hit with a wooden spoon that leaves a mark by a deranged step-mother, emotionally abused by this lunatic, as well as verbally abused, is left to fend for himself because the social worker is either too lazy or too stupid to give a damn.
I am so upset that my son is living in such a terrible household, where fear is used to keep him in control, so that his father and step mother can do what they want. It's a tragedy, but I intend to do something about it. I just don't know what or how. Wish me luck?
It's a story about a new set of parents who had their newborn child taken from them because they wanted to take a holistic approach to their child's mild jaundice. Even after talking to a staff pediatrician, who by the way, was ok with the idea of the parents taking their child home, the nurse who was assigned to them called Social Services to report them. Now, I am all for looking out for kids, but this was ridiculous. A DOCTOR, someone with the education and title, thought it would be ok for the child to go home with mom and dad, but the NURSE (who I understand has just as much knowledge as most doctors) didn't care and put these people through hell. And Social Services took the child away. This doesn't just anger me, it really infuriates me. What these parents were suggesting was not abusive, would not have hurt the child in any way, shape or form, and the child was removed. My son, who is being hit with a wooden spoon that leaves a mark by a deranged step-mother, emotionally abused by this lunatic, as well as verbally abused, is left to fend for himself because the social worker is either too lazy or too stupid to give a damn.
I am so upset that my son is living in such a terrible household, where fear is used to keep him in control, so that his father and step mother can do what they want. It's a tragedy, but I intend to do something about it. I just don't know what or how. Wish me luck?
Thursday, March 24, 2011
So when exactly DOES common sense kick in?
Last night I got a phone call from my ex husband in regards to our teenager, Blake. Apparently he had taken his PSP (from my house) to his dad's and then lied about having it when his step mom asked about it. Ok, there needs to be back story here...
A couple of weeks ago, Blake had taken his iPod to school with him so he could listen to it on the bus. It's from my house. Anyways, his step mom was home that day and tried to get his attention before he walked to the sitters house, but because he had his headphones in, he didn't hear her. Now, for the last 10 years, she has had this rule of nothing from her house goes to my house and vice versa, which when he was younger made sense. This rule is her rule, not mine, but I have honored it nonetheless. So, two weeks ago she busted him having my iPod at her house and took it from him and told him that if she ever saw it in her house again, he wouldn't like the consequences. That took place on a Monday. On Tuesday night, I got an email from his step mom saying that she now had Blake's PSP, and that I could get it from her either Thursday night or Friday night when I got him next.
Now, I have told my son that while it may not seem fair, rules are rules and he needed to follow them. So it makes you wonder why on earth he thought that he could AGAIN take his PSP from my house Tuesday night and take it to his dad's house and then show it off to the kids on the bus? One of those kids didn't like what he was doing and told his parents who in turn called step mom. I tell ya...I am at a loss. So my son once again took something he wasn't supposed to over to his dad;s house, got busted for it, and then LIED about it. He sure doesn't know when to quit.
His dad and I had a conversation in which his dad determined that I used poor judgement in letting Blake have his PSP in the first place and for trusting him that he wouldn't take it between houses. I of course think that on some level, you have to trust your kids enough to let them make their mistakes and pray that they learn from it. In this case, my son doesn't seem to be learning from it. So, his father wants to sell the PSP (which I bought) and use the money to cover his bills. I told him that he could sell whatever video equipment of HIS he wanted, but that I wanted the PSP back since I am the one who paid for it. He thinks I am going to let Blake have it and then we will go through this process all over again. Not so. I plan to take my son up to Game Stop and sell the darned thing. I dont' know when, if EVER, I will allow him to have another video game system after this.
My main problem is the way his dad acted like this was all my fault. I mean, aren't we supposed to give our teens some leeway in the area of trust? Maybe I am just too optimistic in my thinking. But I am pretty sure that I am not a bad parent and that I intend to teach my teen a lesson. One thing is for sure: teens are way more difficult than toddlers!
A couple of weeks ago, Blake had taken his iPod to school with him so he could listen to it on the bus. It's from my house. Anyways, his step mom was home that day and tried to get his attention before he walked to the sitters house, but because he had his headphones in, he didn't hear her. Now, for the last 10 years, she has had this rule of nothing from her house goes to my house and vice versa, which when he was younger made sense. This rule is her rule, not mine, but I have honored it nonetheless. So, two weeks ago she busted him having my iPod at her house and took it from him and told him that if she ever saw it in her house again, he wouldn't like the consequences. That took place on a Monday. On Tuesday night, I got an email from his step mom saying that she now had Blake's PSP, and that I could get it from her either Thursday night or Friday night when I got him next.
Now, I have told my son that while it may not seem fair, rules are rules and he needed to follow them. So it makes you wonder why on earth he thought that he could AGAIN take his PSP from my house Tuesday night and take it to his dad's house and then show it off to the kids on the bus? One of those kids didn't like what he was doing and told his parents who in turn called step mom. I tell ya...I am at a loss. So my son once again took something he wasn't supposed to over to his dad;s house, got busted for it, and then LIED about it. He sure doesn't know when to quit.
His dad and I had a conversation in which his dad determined that I used poor judgement in letting Blake have his PSP in the first place and for trusting him that he wouldn't take it between houses. I of course think that on some level, you have to trust your kids enough to let them make their mistakes and pray that they learn from it. In this case, my son doesn't seem to be learning from it. So, his father wants to sell the PSP (which I bought) and use the money to cover his bills. I told him that he could sell whatever video equipment of HIS he wanted, but that I wanted the PSP back since I am the one who paid for it. He thinks I am going to let Blake have it and then we will go through this process all over again. Not so. I plan to take my son up to Game Stop and sell the darned thing. I dont' know when, if EVER, I will allow him to have another video game system after this.
My main problem is the way his dad acted like this was all my fault. I mean, aren't we supposed to give our teens some leeway in the area of trust? Maybe I am just too optimistic in my thinking. But I am pretty sure that I am not a bad parent and that I intend to teach my teen a lesson. One thing is for sure: teens are way more difficult than toddlers!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Teens AND toddlers???
So, about a year and a half ago, I became the mom to an adorable baby boy. His addition to my family was extremely unexpected! Now, I have a teenager (13) AND a toddler (21mos). What was I thinking????
I am thinking that teenagers are way more difficult than toddlers though!
I am thinking that teenagers are way more difficult than toddlers though!
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